


Winter Wonderland

by Nebula_Ocean04



Series: Winter Love [2]
Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28288542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula_Ocean04/pseuds/Nebula_Ocean04
Summary: Everlasting love in winter
Relationships: Kim Jinwoo & Lee Seunghoon, Kim Jinwoo/Lee Seunghoon
Series: Winter Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072100
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Winter Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a Christmas gift to you from me. It's as sweet and warm as your hot chocolate.

"Why are you in a hurry? It's still 6 hours before your flight?"

That stops me on my track and wakes me up from the daze I’ve been in since 2 AM. Am I too obvious that I'm itching to fly back to Seoul as soon as possible?

"You know, it's Friday. We might get stuck on traffic. It'll be a waste if I miss my flight." I shrug dismissively.

But my older sister doesn't buy it and gives me a meaningful look. "Aigoo! You're such a bad liar, Jinwoo." She pinches my cheeks hard that I cry out in pain. "Just say you can't wait to see your boyfriend."

I cup my own cheeks after getting away from her grasps and look at her sharply. "Why bother asking if you already know the answer?"

She just laughs out loud. "My god! My brother is a goner."

"Well, that's understandable." Mom chimes in. She gives me a meaningful look accompanied by a teasing smile. "Right, Jinwoo?"

"Mom!" I whine, she always teases me that way. I always tries to cover up how much I am crazy about Seunghoon whenever I’m in front of my family. But her mother’s instinct catches it anyway. 

Mom reaches to tousle my hair as she says, "Be happy, okay? You know Mom and Dad will always be here for you." And she places a light kiss on my forehead. She cups my face on her hand and she coos, "Our little Jinwoo is no longer a baby."

"Jeez, Mom." My younger sister cringes, "Jinwoo-oppa isn't getting married yet. What's with this drama?" She pretends to vomit.

I just look at her sharply while hugging our mother tight, enjoying the affection one last time.

When I pull away, I see our father descends and stands at the foot of the stairs. We're both fragile and emotional men and we always avoid being touchy feely with each other, conscious that we may suddenly burst into tears if ever, especially on these scenes. So I just wave a little, "Dad, I'll go ahead."

"Yeah, take care," he responds simply. "And make sure that nice lad is the last and the one."

Even my family is in love with Seunghoon. They adore him so much that I think if we break up in the end, they might decide to adopt him into the family.

I brought him home to meet them after we got together. Well, after we got enough of each other after we officially got together. And when I was no longer too sore to walk. Okay, that's too much information.

I can still remember the nervous look on his face. He looked like he was experiencing constipation and diarrhea at the same time. He was sweating while on our ride home and his hands were clammy. It was the first time I saw his composure crumble like that and I couldn't help but make fun of him.

"What if they don't like me?" He tugged my hand to stop me from walking.

I faced him, "Why would they not like you?"

"Because I hurt you? Because I made you cry?"

I snicker, "I'm not their fragile little prince, you know? They know I'm tough and they understand the complications of my life. Besides," I circled my arms around his neck. "You make me happy now and then. That's what's important." I pressed a kiss on the side of his neck to assure him.

He snaked his arms around my waist as he whispered, "I still can't believe I deserve you."

"You have the rest of our lives to prove your worthiness of me." I smirked as I pulled away. I intertwined our hands and tugged him to walk the remaining distance to our house.

All of Seunghoon's nervousness and doubts were thrown out of the window by how warm my mother and sisters welcomed him. 

For once, mother was ecstatic to finally meet a fine and decent boyfriend of mine without having to scheme just to meet him. And really, Seunghoon is the type of guy anyone would be proud to introduce to their parents and the type that mothers would surely approve. He's smart, accomplished, polite (to seniors and elderly, he's still tactless for me), good-looking, nicely built and surprisingly funny in contrast to his always serious expression. Perfect!

Father, though he didn't let on, liked him at first meeting with the way he was attentive to Seunghoon's gestures. I would catch him looking at me and Seunghoon and our entwined hands, like he's observing us. When I came out to my family, my father's greatest concern was if I would find real and lasting love and happiness in my choice. If there would be a man who would really take me seriously. He was scared I'll end up alone. And seeing my father's assured expression couldn't make me anymore happier whenever I look up to Seunghoon who is looking back at me.

Meanwhile, my sisters were being pains in the ass by spilling every embarrassing things about me over dinner, fishing for any reaction from Seunghoon that might indicate he's turned off. But Seunghoon was beaming widely while paying close attention to every detail about me that only my sisters would know and he was pitching some of his own observations making everyone on the table laugh. Except me because I really wanted to be swallowed by the ground in embarrassment. They were having fun ganging up on me. 

After dinner, we all huddled in the living room in front of the fireplace while playing Scrabble. Well, they were playing Scrabble. I was supposed to team up with Seunghoon, but really, he did all the play. They would ask him questions about himself and his family that even I didn't know the answers. That made me a little sad but I also took that opportunity to know Seunghoon more. 

For the most part, I was very happy to be in one place with everyone I love at that moment and to see Seunghoon being less conscious of our skinship despite being in front of my family. My older sister won all three matches because, yes, we accepted, she's the smartest person in the room when it comes to English vocabulary.

Seunghoon was so welcomed in the house that mother even invited him to stay for the remaining 10 days of his vacation. And though Seunghoon appreciated the offer and the concern, he declined. He later on told me he couldn't possibly touch or -- ehem! His words, not mine-- make love to me if we were under the same roof as my parents because that would feel weird. That only made me erupted into a boisterous laugh which earned me a deep kiss from Seunghoon just to shut me up.

I toured him around the city after my shifts and in my off days. I showed him my favorite place for sunset viewing, the Barangaroo Reserve. I brought him to the beautiful beaches just 30 minutes away from the city center. We even hiked together the 6km cliff top coastal walk from Bondi beach to Coogee beach which he enjoyed a lot and I didn't. It was exhausting! And we watched a performance in the Sydney Opera House.

I felt like those ten days were the happiest and most memorable ever since meeting Seunghoon. It felt so different from the clandestine meetings in our apartments or my forced entry into his comfort zone. This is better, and way better with label.

On the day he had to return to Seoul, I was like a koala clinging so desperately to him. I prepared myself but I still ended up crying because I didn't want him to go yet. He promised we'd do Face Time every morning and night and I was child-like to be convinced and stopped crying. He gave me one last passionate kiss to last me for months, then he was off to catch his flight.

We mutually agreed that I should stay in Sydney indefinitely. Mostly because I'd feel guilty and ashamed to my family if I would suddenly fly across continents and seas again just for a boy. Well, not that Seunghoon is any other boy, when he's the love of my life. It's just that I had caused enough disappointments to my parents because of my love life dramas, though they never really admitted it, and I didn't want to make another rash decision that would disappoint them again. And my parents looked very happy and pleased that we're complete again in one place. I didn't want to take that happiness from them so quickly. I needed a more reasonable excuse aside from missing Seunghoon or I have to wait until they grew tired of me then kick me out of the house.

I also used the opportunity that we were apart to re-calibrate my love for him. I didn't want to end up an obsessive and possessive boyfriend and I was hoping this safe distance between us would put me into a better perspective in our relationship.

And Seunghoon, in the meantime, would like to fix himself first. He said he didn't want to bring his issues and emotional baggage into our relationship and he didn't think he would be able to face that if I'm around because he would just rely on me so much. I told him I didn't mind but he insisted that if he wanted to love me right, it should start from us giving and receiving equal amount of love from each other, that I couldn't be the only one who loves him more. But his thoughtfulness only made me love him even more! When would you be able to catch up, Lee Seunghoon?

He kept his promise. We did Face Time in the morning when he wakes up and at night before I go to bed. We also did it for hours whenever we are free on weekends. We would talk about our day, our dreams the night before, random stuff, and our likes and dislikes. It's funny how we skipped this getting to know stage in the beginning, only to catch up when we're already together in a long-distance relationship. And it almost felt surreal that we didn't argue, like really argue and full on fight, not even once. There were childish banters that might have crossed some lines but we always ended them with apologies before hanging up. Seunghoon is a good keeper of his words and I have nothing to complain about him. He's really trying his best. It's just me who would act like a bitch sometimes and when that happens, it's either he would compromise or would pacify me by offering some sense into the matter that upset me.

Everything was going so well except on days that he had it worse. There was a time that he didn't answer my calls and messages for three days straight. I was worried to death, conjuring scenarios like something bad happened to him or he finally realized I wasn't worth it. I didn't know whether to feel relieved or devastated when he contacted me again. He said he was not feeling good and he needed some time alone and that's when he mentioned that he's been attending counselling for his depression. He said it's been years and he's better now, there's just those days that felt like lapses, and it broke my heart. I had always knew deep inside that he's broken but I wasn't aware of the extent.

There was a long pause, racking our brains how to resolve it. And we just ended up with a resolution that now that I'm here, he can tell me anything and if he doesn't feel like talking, he could simply tell me he'll be gone for a while and I would understand. I didn't know how else I could help him aside from being supportive and understanding. I just hope that the mutual love we have will also help him completely overcome it in the future. It was a naive perspective but we couldn't give up on us just because of it. And I had learned my lesson that it's not easy to unlove him, so I would just embrace his entirety.

Then one day, a close friend since college contacted me to offer me a job. He said he was building his own tech firm and he wanted me to be a part of it as a founding member. And that was the heaven-sent reasonable excuse I needed. I told my parents about it and all the perks of accepting the offer, like becoming a shareholder without having to invest money and the considerable compensation. They were supportive of my decision and were happy that I'm finally back in my game after withdrawing from the corporate scene three years ago. There's just a tiny bit of guilt because I didn't mention that I can actually accept the job and work remotely all the way from Sydney. But seeing how they sent me off with well wishes, I think they are truly understanding of my necessity to be with Seunghoon.

After checking in, Seunghoon is right on time to call.

"Hey, sleepyhead, good morning!" I beam at him, who is still lying on his bed and a side of his face still pressed against a pillow.

"Aaahh! Too bright." He complains from the other end.

"Oh? Is the lighting blinding you? Sorry, I'm already in the airport."

"No, it's not the lighting."

I give him a blank stare, confused.

"You're smile was too bright."

I stop myself from reacting, even a tiny bit of a smile, so as to not give him the satisfaction from that lame and cheesy pick-up line. I don't know when it started or how, but him dropping cheesy pick-up lines and me teasing him for it became a norm to us. It also showed me the cute, playful and mischievous side of Seunghoon. Something that people wouldn't expect from his very uptight personality. That and his very caring side towards Haute.

He groans, "Come on, Jinwoo! That took me 5 minutes, you know. Show a little appreciation."

"You could do something more productive in that 5 minutes."

"Well, I couldn't promise that something productive from that 5 minutes would be safe for airport anyway."

And that finally crack me up.

"Why are you so fond of R-18 jokes? You should marry a porn star."

"Then, I think it's about time you change your career."

He chortles. "Yeah, maybe I should consider." When his laughter dies down, he asks, "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Honestly?"

He nods.

"I couldn't sleep a wink." I reply.

"Ditto. I just forced myself around 3 am. I miss you."

"Can't wait to see you again."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

He pouts at my answer.

"Okay, okay." I chuckle. "I love you, too."

Then there's just silence as we stare at each other for a long time, like fools in love. Well, we're kind of are.

"You have to get up soon and prepare for work."

"I wish I could have just taken a leave today."

"It's your last day of work for this year, right? You can rest later."

"No, I just want to wait for you until you arrive."

"What have you eaten last night? Why are you so cheesy so early in the morning?"

He just shrugs, "Your love?"

"My god, Seunghoon! Stop! It's cringey when it's coming from you." I roll my eyes at him but my lips are stretched into a smile.

"I should really get up."

"Then go. You can't be late and ruin your perfect attendance. I'll see you later."

He waves at the camera. "Laters. Take care. Take care of my heart, hope, and love."

And I have to bury my face in my free hand because of the secondhand embarrassment I feel for Seunghoon's cheesiness.

****

"You are unusually creepy today." Jae points out as he follows me on my workstation.

I sit and face him. "Why? What did I do?"

"You've been smiling since this morning and even when the Development Manager of Project Greenery asked us to change the estimates of their financials. Usually that would set you in a brooding mood until you clock out."

"Am I? Really?" I grab my phone and open the camera app to look at my face. And well, I do have a smile plastered on my face. It's a miracle my facial muscles aren't trembling and complaining yet. "I wonder why..."

"By the way, people are clocking off early today to prepare for tonight's Christmas party. I suggest you do the same. Let's worry about the new estimates when we return in January."

And as if on cue, I tidy up my table and start preparing to leave. "I'm not attending the party tonight."

"What?" Jae sounds alarmed. "Why? What's happening?"

"I have a prior engagement."

"More important than showing up to the big bosses?"

"The sky is delivering its early Christmas present for me tonight."

Jae looks confused, and it takes 30 seconds for realization to dawn on him. "Oh. Your boyfriend is arriving tonight? I see."

And my lips automatically stretches wider into a beaming smile. I know, I've gone crazy.

Jae laughs at me. "Damn, Seunghoon, I never thought I'd see the day you'll act like this."

"That's how great my boyfriend is, so if you'll excuse me." I grab my suitcase and walk pass him.

Frankly, when we parted back in February, I just went on with my life like nothing happened at all. I thought I could keep him as a neighbor or even as an acquaintance if I would just respect his wish to leave him alone. Though, I would always walk quicker as I pass by his apartment door, afraid that he would come out anytime and he'd see me. I avoided going out to the veranda just so he wouldn't feel the need to avoid his. I always kept in mind to give him the space he needed to compensate for the pain I caused him. And it was already a month later when I found out he left.

A part of me was devastated, the part that I always tried to stay hidden and silent. I made myself busier at work so I didn't have to think about it. I would exhaust myself just so I didn't have to feel the pang in my chest. I would always come home late and spend time outside my apartment because I had come to hate it and all the lingering memories of Jinwoo sitting on my sofa, eating at my dining table, and lying on my bed. Until it became too suffocating that I decided to move.

But I had no one to blame because I brought it to myself. I thought avoiding to face my feelings for Jinwoo would save me from the suffocation of uncontrollable emotions and prison-like commitments. But it only brought me a more painful suffocation; regret and longing.

If not for Jieun, I wouldn't had come to my senses. She visited me when she found out I moved into an apartment closer to where I work. She tried to mask her worries as she inspected the two-bedroom apartment, but I could see it well in her eyes. She didn't seem to know how to address the elephant in the room until before she left.

"You look thinner. Have you been sleeping and eating well?"

I nodded.

"You haven't been attending your counselling sessions."

"There's so many things going on at work right now." I said as an excuse.

"I've seen you lost and empty before but not with that gaping hole on you." A tear fell from her right eye. She walked up to me to hug me. "I hate to see you like this. I hate it that you're still caged in our past and how it still affects your present. I know it takes courage to let it all go but you need it the most. If you will just become braver to chase after your true happiness, to set aside your pride and fears, you don't have to suffer like this. Because it's worth it. Jinwoo is worth it. I've seen it myself."

And maybe, at that time, all I needed was a push to run after him. Someone to tell me that yearning for Jinwoo was okay. That it wasn't selfishness or monstrosity. Because I just knew deep inside that I would never find another like him. And so I ran, flew, and was so ready to beg but my saving grace just wouldn't let me. He was all I needed to complete the missing pieces in me. I found my way home in his arms and filled the emptiness with our love.

The last five months had been helpful to put us both into better perspective in terms of what we really want from this relationship we decided to enter. We both want somebody to love and treasure. We both want something permanent and lasting. And we're both desperate to keep each other. I don't have the slightest idea about relationships but Jinwoo promised we would go through this together, one step at a time.

At first, it was horrifying to think I would need to change myself for Jinwoo because the current me wasn't good enough for his beautiful heart and soul. I have too many insecurities and bitterness in life that may disappoint him. I was far from the perfect guy he had envisioned me. But he made me realize I didn't really have to change at all, I just have to open up myself to him and show him the side of me that I decided to hide from people. And through this, I also assured Jinwoo that he didn't have to break through walls anymore, that I can crumble them myself gradually for him. Revealing to him what's lying underneath one mask at a time.

Sometimes I wonder, are we just too in love to see our long list of flaws? Or is this just how relationships work, loving the other person despite their flaws? 

But now that I'm going to be with him soon, I'm more confident about us and of who I am in Jinwoo's eyes. I'm a better man because of him and a better lover because of his love.

I got him flowers as a welcome gift on the way to the airport. He had not specifically mentioned he likes flowers before but I hope he will appreciate the meaning of pink and red camellia once I tell him. 

I enter the airport and walk to the arrival area aware of my mixed jitters and excitement. Now that I'm going to see him soon, I'm more restless, like there's adrenaline rush in my bloodstream. I'm dying to see him.

His plane is supposed to land at 6pm. When it's already 7 o'clock and I still haven't seen him, I become worried. What if something bad happened to him? What if he couldn't ride the plane? Or what if he finally realize I'm not worth it?

And before I can dwell longer in my horrid thought, there he is, in his usual grey shirt and my black leather jacket. I can feel my breath gets knocked out as I rake my eyes on his slightly curled and grayish blond hair that matches his porcelain skin and his big brown eyes that sweep the crowd in front of him. His eyes find me and his face morphs into a blinding smile, he's shining brightly like a north star. So beautiful. So warm.

I've really turned into an imbecile in love and I don't regret it one bit. He's everything I want, right here, right now. And I can't believe he's mine. This angel is mine.

He walks up to me and stops just a couple of step away to look at me from head to toe. He puts his right hand on his waist and raises an eyebrow at me. "Flowers? Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I just didn't think of you as thoughtful as that." His deep, sweet voice is teasing.

I roll my eyes, "You have the sweetest boyfriend on earth."

"I beg to disagree. That would be me." He lets go of his luggage and close the gap between us. He snakes his arms around my waist, setting aside the hand that is holding the bouquet of flowers, and pulls me into a tight hug. "I missed you." He whispers on my neck then pecks.

"I missed you, too." I say as I drape my arms around him and hold on to him for a couple of minutes. I nuzzle his hair, "I like your hair. You look so gorgeous."

His body vibrates as he laughs softly. "It was Mom's idea. She'll be delighted to know you like it. I feel like she loves you more because she groomed me, his own and only son, just for you. She has never done that before."

"I can say she still has the best taste in fashion. Why didn't you pick that up from her?" He pinches me lightly on my side which cuts me off. "Ow!" But his hand quickly massage the part that he pinched to soothe it and we chuckle to ourselves.

We're just like that, trapped in each other's arms we don't want to escape from, juggling our weights from one feet to another as if to sway. No one wants to pull away, but one of us has to do it or else we can't go home at this rate. And that's my role to take.

"Let's get you home so you can rest. You must be jetlagged."

"Yeah, I think I need that."

I took both his luggage and lead him to where my car is parked. "Are you hungry? Do you want to stop by somewhere so we can eat?"

"Nah, let's go home straight and just cook ramyeon. I'm tired."

I can't help but smile upon hearing him call my apartment as "home". This is really it. We're not turning back. I don't think I will let him either.

He said he is tired, but he still has the energy to tell me stories about his flight and to tease me about the flowers after he googled its meaning. And when we arrive at "our" apartment, he still has the strength to push me on the wall, stand on his tallest tiptoes, and start kissing me senseless.

I miss this. His soft lips. His warm breath. His invading tongue. His taste. The sound he makes. His body crushed onto mine like there's no room for air.

But of course, we'll die without air. I have to pull away so we can catch our breath, my forehead resting on his. "I thought you said you're tired and hungry."

"I'm eating what I'm craving the most."

I chuckle. "No, we're not doing it tonight. You should rest and get a proper sleep tonight after that long flight."

He looks at me while wearing a Cheshire cat smile, "I think I can rest well and sleep for 24 hours after you tire me out completely."

I finger-flick his forehead. "No."

"Seunghoon!" Jinwoo whines. He sounds so childish when he whines.

I pick him up and he automatically wrap his legs around my waist as I bring him to the kitchen, then place him on top of the island. "I rather we do it for 24 hours after you have regained your full strength." I give him a wink as I start removing his legs around me.

He scoffs, "As if you can actually last for 24 hours."

"Are you challenging me?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"I'm just stating a fact." There's a smug smile on his face, a sign of an incoming parade of tease from him. He's annoying like that but I love even that part of him. "And it's not like you're any expert. Let me remind you, Lee Seunghoon, that you were still a virgin around this time last year. You'd still be a virgin if not for me."

I shake my head as I chortle, "Fine, you win." I place a chaste kiss on his lips. "Now, shut up."

He stops me from pulling away by wrapping his arms around my neck, entirely imprisoning me with his legs still around my waist. He gives little butterfly kisses on my cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead, chin and lastly, on my lips. "I'll let you off the hook for now, since I really do feel tired. Now, make me a special ramyeon or else I'll eat you."

"Eat me?"

"Yes, eat you."

"Like zombie eat or?"

He cackles. "Seunghoon! Stop being a tease, okay? I didn't take an almost 11-hour straight flight just to have blue balls tonight."

****

I had a great sleep, cuddled warmly into Seunghoon's body all throughout the night. I wake up in the morning wearing a wide grin as I catch him watching me sleep.

"You know, I don't mind if my sleep is interrupted by a breakfast in bed."

"Ssshhh... I'm still figuring out where are the wings of this angel lying next to me."

Maybe I'm in a good mood, or maybe I'm just too crazy for him because I actually guffaw at his remark. He's just so unpredictable and too cheesy.

"I missed personally hearing that annoying sound you make when you laugh like that. It didn't quite sound the same over the phone."

"Excuse me? Did you just call my laugh annoying?"

"Yeah." Seunghoon shifts to hover atop me. "But your moans are really seductive." And he doesn't give me enough time to react as he dives into my mouth to consume the breakfast I so willingly served him, which drives me crazier for him.

I can't believe it would feel weird to cohabitate with Seunghoon. I thought after coming over his place and sleeping with him for many times now, living with him won't be a big deal. But on my first day, as he helps me unpack my things, we keep on awkwardly walking around each other, careful not to bump or take too much of each other's personal space as we pass by the same hallway or space within the apartment. It's not like there's sexual tension between us that we're trying to avoid each other. We're still civilized people and we're not all about sex when there’s just the two of us. But doing our mundane chores around the house makes us too conscious of each other. It's like we're both afraid to step on invisible lines or encounter a landmine.

I'm used at living with other people because I never really left my parent's house even after graduation and well into my adulthood. But living with him feels strange and unfamiliar altogether. Maybe it's because I have a limited idea about what Seunghoon truly is in his normal day at home and I’m worried I may be disrupting his usual routine. And Seunghoon, on the other hand, is used to living alone ever since he became an adult that sometimes he forgets I'm just around, and he is very neat and organized that sometimes he unconsciously picks up after me.

On the third night, we end up laughing at our silliness and uneasiness as we cuddle with each other on the couch. We talk and set rules to help us both adjust in our new setup. And Seunghoon has a ridiculously long list of don'ts that I can't memorize at all so I just shut him up with my mouth.

We drive to his hometown to spend Christmas with his sister's family. Seungyoon, as energetic as ever, runs and jumps to hug me as soon as he sees me. And Seunghoon has the audacity to compete like a petulant child for my attention against Seungyoon.

Jieun mentioned to Seunghoon that Seungyoon shows signs of musical inclination so we each gift him a guitar and a keyboard. The funny thing is his father insisted in giving him a drum set and on Christmas Eve, Seungyoon is all set to form his one-man band at the age of five. Maybe he's going to be something in the future. But right now, despite all his excitement, the poor child doesn't seem to know which instrument to try to learn first.

I pass on to them the gifts that my family and I bought, which are watches because Mother insisted that those can never go out of style. And Seunghoon, noticing the expensive brand, teases me by asking if those were dowry gifts. My present for Seunghoon is a matching outfit with Haute because I was inspired by the first time I saw him. Them. It's Hawaiian button down shirts with white shorts that are perfect for summer. Seungyoon giggles at his uncle.

What I did not expect is Seunghoon's gift for me. The box I opened contains two small and cute sphynxes, one is beige and one is gray. I look up to him asking how he knew.

"When we're still apart, you were always sending me cat videos so I thought you like to have one. But you said you're allergic to cat fur so I chose the bald ones. They are not as cute as those in the videos but I read they are very affectionate towards their owners. So..."

I beam so wide that my face may split anytime. He is so thoughtful that I can't believe he's the same stone-cold guy who broke my heart last February. He actually remembers and takes note of things I told him. I give him a peck on his cheek. "They are perfect!"

Seungyoon is fast to approach me, the instruments already forgotten, and with his big cute eyes, he stares curiously at the kittens in my hands. "Can I touch them?"

"Go ahead."

And he pokes them very lightly. Seungyoon stares at his finger that touched them with his big eyes and exclaims, "They are so warm!" He rushes to his parents to offer his finger as if they will feel the warmth too through it. "Warmer than Haute."

As if on cue, Haute climbs on Seunghoon's lap to have a better view of the kittens. I show them closer to him and say, "They are your younger brothers, Haute. Be good to them, ok?"

Haute just tilts his head on the side without understanding.

"You're already looking like a family." Jieun compliments.

And Seunghoon takes that chance to press a kiss on my temple.

Seunghoon made plans about finally introducing me to his best friends. He has to leave ahead of me because of his scheduled counselling and we agreed to meet later in the bar. By the time I alight the taxi, he messages me that they are already inside and waiting. Tsk! Tardy isn't the first impression I am aiming for.

I feel more nervous today than when I met his sister and her family for the first time that I want to look perfect and pleasing. It took me hours to prepare myself, with all the mundane rituals and beauty regimen. Just picking an outfit took me an hour! All because Seunghoon is very frank about my poor taste in fashion and now I don't trust my own judgement in clothing anymore. So I go for Mother's Emergency fashion advice 101 and that is nothing could go wrong with a blazer. 

The bar is on the 24th floor and it's laid-back despite the throng of people. It looks classy and the floor to ceiling windows offer a great view of the city around us. It's the kind of place that is for socializing rather than partying hard.

It is easy to spot Seunghoon as he stands up from our reserved lounge to meet me halfway. He has no business looking so gorgeous in a simple black blazer with plain red shirt underneath but he carries them with unadulterated charisma anyway. His hair is brushed up so effortlessly and everyone else just fades in shadow when he smiles so widely and brightly. 

He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers and I beam at the thought that he's confident to flaunt our relationship not just to his friends, but to all these strangers as well. It makes me cling to his arm.

"Everyone, this is Jinwoo. Jinwoo, this is everyone." I lightly punch his arm where I'm clinging for his lack of elaboration. I already know their names and who is who but still, for the sake of formal introduction to his best friends, he could've introduced us one by one. 

"Hi Jinwoo, we're everyone." Youngdeuk greets sarcastically and I know the sarcasm isn't for me.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"It's fine." Seungyeon smiles. "We're just early."

Our lounge has three love seats in total around the table and his two best friends are accompanied by their respective partners. Seunghoon and I settle on the seat he was occupying earlier and I am face to face with my cousin.

"I just remembered, how are you two related?" Seunghoon opens up the topic. "You were sitting on his kin's side at their wedding."

"We're cousins." Minseok answers.

"Second cousins," I chime in.

"Yeah, we didn't personally know each other until uni," He adds. "We happened to be in the same class during freshman year and people were curious if we're related because we have the same surname and, well, we're both, uhm..." He is still modest as ever.

"Gifted in the visual department." I supply.

He laughs, "Yeah, that. So he brought me to his parents and they confirmed that we share the same great-grandparents. Then we kind of stuck together all through these years."

"Wait, hold on." Seunghoon interrupts. "You studied in the same university?"

"Yeah." Minseok confirms.

Seunghoon looks at me with unusual big eyes. "You graduated from KAIST?!"

"Why?" I challenge him jokingly. "Are you surprised I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

"No. I never thought of you as stupid. Clumsy and naive, yes, but not stupid."

I scoff but even before I can retaliate, Seunghoon kisses my temple and declares, "So, in the end, I got really lucky to have a very handsome, loving and smart perfect boyfriend. What more can I ask?"

Seungyeon throws a crumpled tissue towards Seunghoon while Youngdeuk cringes with a goosebump. "Do they really have to be this lovey-dovey in front of us?"

Seunghoon turns to him to answer, "Wait 'till you actually see us being lovey-dovey--" And I have to cover his mouth to stop him from embarrassing us even more. They erupt in laughter as Seunghoon sulks.

When the others are busy talking about married life, Seunghoon turns to me and whispers, "Why didn't you tell me about it?" He doesn't sound hurt that he didn't know, he just sounds curious.

"It's not a big deal as compare as to you getting into SNU by being in the top 1%. Also, I barely passed my subjects. It was a miracle I graduated."

"Why did you chose to study there?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" He raises an eyebrow at my question. "Do you promise you won't get jealous?"

"What?"

"I did it for love." I chuckle because really, looking back now, the reason was too childish and funny. "I have a big crush on one of my seniors in the computer club and I heard he got accepted in KAIST. I really wanted to follow him and confess to him in college so even though I started late, I studied hard. My parents were also surprised by my sudden goal, they knew I didn't like studying but they supported me and even pulled some strings to get me into special catch up classes in the academy. Obviously, I wasn't a top 1% material so I took the entrance exam earnestly. I was waitlisted for Computer Science program until the very last day of enrolment."

"And? What happened to you and your senior?"

"By the time we met again, he already got himself a girlfriend."

"Tsk! Too bad for him."

"You really think so?"

Seunghoon leans his forehead on mine and mirrors my smile while looking into my eyes. "Yeah, it's not every day that you encounter an angel, how much more being loved by him?"

"You're such a habitual flaterrer, it should be illegal."

"Did I lie, though?"

"That is definitely them being lovey-dovey." I hear Seungyeon says, followed by Youngdeuk's groan, "Honey, I'm feeling competitive. Let's be lovey-dovey, too."

I pull away a little, feeling embarrassed again but Seunghoon just covers my ears as he say, "Don't listen to them." With a wink.

I guess this is why Seunghoon never got easily angered by all of my teasing. Because he has friends who do it on regular basis. He is immune. I find it cute and I feel relieved that all this time he has great friends with whom he can let his guard down. 

They are asking questions about me and curious about my non-existent talent when Seunghoon brings up an unexpected topic again. "You haven't told me how they convinced you to sing at their wedding."

"Let's just say the price is right." I smile toothedly.

Minseok snorts, "You didn't even accept a dime."

"Shush!" I wink at the newlyweds. When I turn to Seunghoon, he is looking back at me through slitted eyes.

"Come on, why are you not letting me into the secret?"

"Well," Seungyeon offers as a preamble. "Do you still remember how Minseok and I met three years ago?"

"Yeah. Because a douchebag ditched you."

"Ouch." I pretend to be hurt. "That's the first time I'm called a douchebag."

Seunghoon stares at me with his eyebrows drawn together at the center. It doesn't take him long to realize what I mean. "You what?"

Seungyeon giggles while Minseok shakes his head as he stifles his laugh.

"Here I thought I was a cupid who brought them together all along." I say dramatically.

Seunghoon looks at each of us as if waiting for us to say it's a prank. It's funny but I don't like making him look like a fool, except when we're actually fooling around. 

So I start explaining, "Our grandmothers are long-time friends and it was them who had an agreement. Unfortunately, my grandmother thought my sexuality is something reversible if I meet a great woman like Seungyeon." I laugh awkwardly. Even though my immediate family accepted and supports me in my choices, that is not the case for the rest of our clan. That is another thing I owe an apology from my father, there's now a rift in his relationship with his mother because of me. "I knew she didn't deserve to be stood up and she deserves a decent guy so I asked Minseok to replace me."

"We're here right now because of Jinwoo," Seungyeon leans her head on her husband's shoulder. "We owe it to him."

Seunghoon gives me a side eye, "But I still think you should have told her personally instead of some other guy."

He means it seriously and out of his care for Seungyeon. There is more to the whole story than that but I just never had the chance to tell him. The perfect time just didn't come but maybe I can tell him tonight.

"Jeez, Seunghoon," Seungyeon scolds as she rolls her eyes. "Stop your overprotectiveness. And my husband is not some other guy."

"Oy!" Youngdeuk admonishes, "You're not going to start fighting just because of them."

I pout to appeal pitifully so Seunghoon will finally let it slide. He can never resist me anyway no matter how logical he is. "I know I owed Seungyeon an apology and I owed Minseok a favor so I decided to pay them back by singing at their wedding. It wasn't an easy feat for me, I had to put up with a lot of bullshit from our extended family and I was so nervous and scared to make a mistake because I'm aware my vocal talent is just subpar."

"No, it is not."

"Eh?"

"You have a very beautiful voice. The best thing since melted butter."

"Oh. My. God." Seungyeon screeches.

"One time, he is criticizing him. The next, he's singing praises of him. Who is this Seunghoon? I don't know him." Youngdeuk blanches.

And laughter bursts again around our table. We mostly drink wine so we don't get drunk easily. And we have some more of the meaningful conversation. There are relationship advices that Seunghoon thinks unsolicited but I'm all ears. There are occasional banters and several arguments about straightening facts but everything ends in a nice note. 

Later that night, I can't sleep even though I'm well aware that it's past midnight. And the fact that Seunghoon is still stroking my hair means he isn't asleep yet, too. My mind is busy buzzing with incoherent thoughts and he's probably the same. And maybe it will help to organize our thoughts if we talk.

So I pull myself away from being tucked under his chin and propped my left arm sideways to support my head. "Seunghoon, I can hear the gears of your brain turning. Is something bothering you?"

That pulls him away from his reverie. He smiles a little and caresses my cheek. "Nah, I'm good. We're good."

But I'm not convinced. I don't like it when he doesn't tell me things but I also don't like to pry too much. I press a chaste kiss on his lips instead, "I love you."

He returns the kiss but on my forehead, "I love you, too."

I place my freehand on his left chest, atop his heart, and lightly massage it. I can feel on my fingertips how his heart flutters under my touch. His other hand holds it steady atop his chest.

"I'm just wondering,” He starts. “Why you haven't told me yet the story behind why you quit your last job. I mean, the specific reasons. I feel like something happened to you three years ago that was a big deal. But at the same time, I understand if you don't like to tell me. I don't like to force you. As you've never forced me either."

"I couldn't tell you because it was a series of chain reaction and I don't want to burden you. It also means I have to tell you about my ex and I don't know if you want hear about him."

He nods in understanding. "But we agreed to communicate openly and to share our worries and burdens, right? You’ve been listening to me, can I do it for you this time?"

He is right and we didn't establish a certain boundary on the extent of what we can ask about or share with each other. I'm reluctant because I feel ashamed. And I realized this is probably how Seunghoon felt when he started opening up to me. And if he trusted me that much, I should, too, right?

"It's all in the past now, so don't feel burdened, okay?"

"I can't promise. But I'll try." He is honest.

I take a deep sigh and murmur, "My direct supervisor took credit for my hard work and my male co-workers suddenly felt uncomfortable when they discovered I'm gay."

I was ostracized just because I'm gay. With men, it's normal that conversations include sexual jokes, but suddenly they gave meaning to every jokes coming from me and they took it as unwelcomed sexual innuendos. I received a memo about indecency and sexual misconduct and only Minseok, who was working in another team that time, stood up for me. I quit not because I was ashamed. I quit because I was mad. I felt so wronged because it wasn't me that changed, it was their perception of me and I couldn't do anything about that.

To make things worse, I had a boyfriend who was facing a crisis as a thriving artist. He just had a sold out exhibition but he was triggered by a published article that called him overrated and that it was all thanks to his family's name and legacy. I had to calm him down and take care of him while I was having a crisis of my own. But he never, not even once, noticed that I also needed him.

I was waiting for him to see right through me and I needed him to also be there for me like I did for him. But he was too self-absorbed at that time. Then, one day, he was unexpectedly in a great mood and told me he received an offer for apprenticeship from a world renowned artist that I didn't know of and he would be travelling to a European country that I couldn't even pronounce. When I asked him what about me he just answered that he thought I didn't want to leave Seoul. 

That was when I hit rock bottom. It felt like I prioritized all the wrong things in my life. That I was just bad decisions after bad decisions. I blame all my misfortune to myself and my choices and I had nothing left when I decided to broke it off with him. He even asked me why we had to break up and why I couldn't just wait. But at that time, I knew waiting for him would just reduce me to nothing. No self-worth, no self-respect, and no reason to live. And it didn't help that my grandmother was pestering me about the blind date and my sexuality. All that had happened drove me nuts and running away was and had always been my only way of self-preservation. That's why I couldn't face Seungyeon at that time. Because I was in a hurry to run away from everything that was hurting me.

I didn't shed a tear the whole time I told Seunghoon about it. I already got over it. I managed to redeem myself during my alone time by loving myself for a change. I had a month-long soul searching in Chile, checking how long it would take me to walk from east to west. When I was feeling alright, I visited my family in Sydney and my older sister and I had the same conversation for the nth time, just about a different boy. Then, I was left on my own. I enjoyed the solitude of the past three years. But I am happier after meeting Seunghoon.

Seunghoon pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. "My brave angel, you are so strong for not letting any of it break you beyond repair. I admire you."

"Admire me? Why?"

"You didn't succumb to depression after all that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just really weak."

"Oh, Seunghoon." I sit up to face him. "It isn't like that. You're not weak." I cup his face delicately, as if my Seunghoon is a breakable glass. "You're also strong when you admitted that something is wrong with you and you sought help. It was strong and brave of you. The only difference between us is I have a family, four amazing and accepting people, that supports and loves me and you only had Jieun and in your perspective, she's a treasured little sister that you should protect rather than burdened. But I am here now. And you don't need to protect me from you. I can do that for myself. Let's heal you, okay? We can do this together." I rake my fingers through his hair.

He catches my right hand and bring it to his mouth to press a kiss. Then he holds it in place on his cheek. "Thank you. I love you. I'll never get tired of telling you how much I love you."

I snuggle close to him, wrapping his arms around me and wrapping my own around his waist. "And I'll never get tired of basking in your love." I press little kisses on his neck, down his collar bone and as far as my lips can reach on his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"Hmmm... why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there yet for you."

I look up to him and he is looking down to me. "I think you're just in the right place at the right time." I smile to him lovingly. I'm relieved to have this kind of conversation with him. To reciprocate his openness to me and to assure him again that I love his entirety. If there is one thing I learned the right way from my parents, it is to love a person unconditionally. And Seunghoon, of all people, deserves that kind of love.

He nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, you're right. I think I was still immature three years ago and if we have met just to part ways later on, I would probably just forget about you."

"Imagine having to wait for three years before you come running for me. I think I would have just decided to become a priest after you break my heart." I joke to finally lighten up our mood. 

"I highly doubt that. You can't submit to celibacy for so long. Ow!" He complains as I pinch his side. But he still smiles at me even with a grimace on his face. "Did I lie, though?"

"You make me sound like a sex maniac!"

He chortles deliciously. Or maybe I am really a sex maniac? Why does every little thing about him turns me on?

"I only got hots for you, Lee Seunghoon. I'm only like this because you look delectable 24/7." I give him a sullen glance.

"Thanks for the compliment. I think you deserve a reward."

I push him a little. "No thanks. I don't want you tonight." Then I turn my back on him to lie comfortably on my side, pretending to sleep.

"Okay. If you say so." And I feel him move, probably to turn his back on me, too.

That snaps my eyes into opening. "Seunghoon! I was sulking." I turn to face him, "You should console me." But I am greeted by a Seunghoon facing me and grinning mischievously at me.

"First rule in a healthy relationship; I can't force my partner if he doesn't like it. Or else, that's rape."

I glare at him. "Seunghoon."

"Yeah?"

"I'm already turned on."

"So?"

"So?!" I say disbelieving. I push him so he lay on his back and straddle him. "Why are you making me spell it out to you?"

"I just need to know that you want me as much as I want you."

I lower my face close to him so my lips are ghosting over his. "I always want you, Seunghoon. Only you."

He closes the gap between our lips and he starts ravaging my mouth. With just a few strokes of his tongue, he makes me breathless. "Where did you even learn to kiss like that? God! You're just so good."

He chases for my lips to peck once, twice, thrice. "I only learned from the best."

"Does that mean I'm a good kisser?" I arch my eyebrow as a challenge.

And he flips us over so he towers over me. "The best." Then he continues kissing me like there's no tomorrow and all I can do is close my eyes and savor his taste in my mouth, our tongues dancing with each other. His cheesy smooth-talking mouth has so many talents that can make me moan in different ways. His mouth leaves my lips and starts tracing open kisses along my jaw and down my neck. And he even learned how to leave proper marks as he bites, sucks and suckles on that sensitive part at the base of my neck.

I roam my hands all over his back, shoulder and arms, urging him to do more. And he obliges. Seunghoon's hands slips under my shirt and crawl from my belly upward. 

"Hot. It's hot." I moan.

"Hmmm?"

"It's hot, take my clothes off."

Seunghoon takes off the blanket that is twisted hapahazardly around our bodies and peels off my shirt and his in quick succession. He returns to kissing me on the lips and shifting the attention of his talented mouth to my nipples.

That leaves my mind to go haywire. I can't think of anything anymore other than his lips on every inch of my skin. I want more. I want him all. My moans encourage him to suckle and play with it more enthusiastically and it drives me crazy that I start rubbing myself on to him. But he holds my waist down.

"Not so fast, my angel. We're doing slow lovemaking tonight." His bedroom voice sounds so seductive as oppose to his anticlimactic proposal.

"Seunghoon," I call breathlessly. "No. That's too agonizing."

He looks at me with burning desire but there is an underlying tenderness. He scatter butterfly kisses on my torso as he says "You deserve to be loved carefully and thoroughly. Every inch of you."

"But I want you to fuck me. Fuck me hard while I'm on all fours."

Seunghoon's body vibrates deliciously against mine as he chuckles. It sends shivers down my spine which makes my head down there twitch. "I'm trying to be romantic here, Jinwoo. And you and your dirty mouth are ruining it."

I snake my arms around his shoulder, "It's your mouth's fault for being so good at this."

He brings his lips again against mine and invade it thoroughly, until I'm dizzy from breathlessness. He traces his lips down my neck again. "What do you want this expert mouth of mine to do?"

"Eat me."

"I am eating you." He bites lightly my adam's apple. He presses his lower body on me and I feel his length against mine, alive and hard.

"Get down to business, Seunghoon." I demand.

He chuckles, "So impatient. So bossy. If we are to do BDSM in the future. You're in-charge, alright?" Then he slips my pants and underwear down in one swift move. 

And the promise of something adventurous and exciting in the future is so stimulating that my cock just springs up after being released from its restraints. He looks down at me and his eyes wander all over my naked body as if appreciating how much of a mess he has made out of me and that is enough to make me writhe in anticipation. "Somebody is excited to see me." He teases as he presses his forefinger on my slit.

I grab his hand to bring him down onto me, giving him fervent open-mouthed kisses as I wrap my legs around his waist and grind my cock against his still clothed length. I bring the hand I'm holding to my cock so he can stroke it. I whimper loud and begging when he pulls away. He's making unnecessary slow progress and I'm starting to get annoyed.

But he has better ideas. His mouth trail downwards, down my sternum, my non-existent abs, my happy trail until finally, he reaches his destination. He puts my cock in his mouth and starts sucking on its head and tracing his tongue the bulging veins. Soon, he's bobbing his head up and down while his middle finger is reaching for my tight furl. I reach for his locks of hair and tug, a little forceful than I meant, and as if that's the cue he needs to deepthroat me.

"Seunghoon, stop! I'm close." I groan.

He lets go of my cock with a pop. "Come into my mouth. I want to try it for a change."

"No, I don't want to come yet." I am panting and so close yet still desperate to be properly fucked sooner rather than later. "I want you inside me."

"I will also make you come later once I'm inside you. For now, use my mouth and come into me."

He returns to giving me a toe-curling blowjob while maintaining eye contact with me. I can't stop myself any longer and I start thrusting into his mouth as I chase for my orgasm. He takes it all well. Even my release, he takes it so well. He doesn't even gag for his first time.

Seeing his smirk after my orgasm, I just know I'm not done yet and we're far from over yet. It is promising a long night which may last until early morning.

He takes out the lube from the drawer and lathers his finger with it. He thrust it into me as gently as ever, always considerate about my comfort and pleasure. He has wide fingers and its presence inside me is enough to bring me back to life.

"Kiss me." I ask and he obliges. It feels good to be intruded delicately down there by his fingers and roughly in my mouth by his silky tongue that still has the lingering taste of my cum. 

Three fingers in and he asks, "Still good?"

I groan impatiently, "Seunghoon, I'm far from a virgin. I'm always ready for your dick."

He pulls away to take off his pants. Good lord! He isn't wearing an underwear. I scramble to sit and appreciate the divine nakedness in front of me. His smooth and flawless skin, his broad shoulders, his well define pecks and abs, strong arms and thighs and his hard and pulsating cock. I lick my lips appreciatively as I take the lube and squirt it on my hand. I press a kiss on his slit and suck on his head before I lather the lube on its entire length, stroking and making sure it's well covered. Seunghoon has an impressive size and width and it looks more mouth-watering when it's angry red like this. 

"How do you like me served?" I ask suggestively.

"On your back, my angel." He grabs my hair and tilt my head backwards to press a chaste feather-light kiss on my lips as if our lips didn't just do sinful things. 

Then I pull away to lie on my back, folds my knees and spread my legs so he can easily access my hole. And slowly, he enters me, taking space and stretching me.

"So warm. So tight." Our breaths mixing in as we pant.

And true to his words, he's being romantic tonight. He intertwines our fingers in both hands as he starts to move in and out. He gives attention to my jaw and neck as my mouth spills out the guttural cry I can't hold back. He is just the same, groaning and moaning in every thrust. Until those moans become whispers of 'I love you's' on every inch of my skin he can reach. 

He maintains the excruciating slow pace of his lovemaking and even though it is frustrating, just the feeling of his dick filling me up and gliding through my wall is enough to make me feel good. He also makes sure to hit all the right spot and soon I am thrashing at the pleasure building up at the pit of my lower belly.

"Seunghoon." I moan aloud. "My love." He raises his head from my neck and leans his forehead onto mine to look me straight in the eyes. "Love." I call again. And he likes it. Being called like that. Just like how I like it when he calls me his angel.

He snaps his hips forcefully which positions his cock even better inside me. 

"Yes. There. More."

He stays there deeply rooted for a second or two then withdraws just to repeat the ordeal without breaking the slow pace. And the sound our joined bodies are making is loud and sinful which helps to bring me to edge.

"Again. Ah."

"Close?"

"Yeah."

"Is this okay? Do you like it?"

"I like everything you do with that mouth and cock of yours. But I love it when you love me like this. Ahhh..."

"You're squeezing me tight." He says through gritted teeth.

I cling to his body as I kiss him soulfully and breathlessly and that's when I writhe underneath him in pleasure. And maybe it is all Seunghoon needs to cum because he follows suit.

We stay connected and unmoving like that as we regain our strengths and calm our breaths. Then, Seunghoon brings us in the bath tub to clean up. He's always taking care of me after sex but he's just trying to be excessively romantic tonight. However, I haven't given up yet about wanting to be fucked senseless and in the end, Seunghoon gives in and we spend more time than necessary in the bathroom even though there's a more comfortable bed waiting for us.

****

"Daddy! Papa! Look at the snow angel I made!"

It's a cold winter afternoon and everything in the backyard is covered in snow.

We both turn at the same time to look at our little boy, bundled in layers of clothing, wearing the brightest and warmest smile. Our little Jack Frost, who likes winter more than anyone else, runs towards us and tackles our legs that don’t budged. Daddy picks him up so we are all in the same eye-level. I reach out to tickle our precious boy and he giggles adorably which fills our lives with so much warmth and happiness that we never really thought we were missing until he came into our lives.

His eyes stray away from our treasured gem to look into mine. We smile at each other and he comes close to give me a kiss I will never get tired of receiving and reciprocating. And I’m reminded again of why winter became my favorite season ten years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the smut is lame. It's my first time.
> 
> And this is me trying to tie some of the loose ends in the previous chapters.


End file.
